Are you still in love with your spouse?

It is so difficult to find love and yet somehow, it is so easy to lose it. how does that work?. When I hear my clients say they have fallen out of love, it always stops me in my tracks. I start to think, how, why, when, it just doesn’t make sense to me, but the more I think about it, I realize that there are possible signs to look out for that can give you hints when things aren’t what they used to be. When do you know something is wrong in your marriage.


The red alert to look out for in your relationship before it’s too late;

  • When you stop caring and appreciating each other. It’s important to understand that what you do not appreciate will depreciate. That’s a fact.
  • When you stop complimenting each other. For instance, when you stop noticing that your spouse has changed their hairstyle or haircut. This isn’t a good sign. It may seem small but this can grow into a major thing as it shows a lack of attention.
  • When there is a lack of communication with your spouse and you just argue over everything, when there’s a lack of communication in a marriage, you will find that you should rather spend time with your friends or be on social media than spend quality time with your spouse.
  • You choose sleep over sex most of the time or you are not having sex at all.
  • When you irritate each other. This is a case where you get irritated at the least thing your spouse does.
  • You don’t talk and make each other laugh anymore.
  • Everything to do with your partner feels like a chore, you don’t check in with each other.
  • The thought of you seeing your spouse sadden your heart.  You are not drawn to one another anymore. You rather be on your phone.
  • You find it difficult to forgive each other.
  • You are living like two strangers in the house. You never eat dinner together.
  • You deliberately withhold sex from each other. Lovemaking becomes a bore.


Every relationship will get boring after you’ve been together for many years. I have been married for many years and we have to keep putting honey in the honeycomb. Marriage is work. Love is not a feeling but a commitment to one another physically and emotionally. It’s difficult, it’s not always laughing, smiles, and fun, don’t quit when it stops being fun and start looking for something else because the spark is gone. No!, that is not how it works. It’s the commitment. You want somebody to love you unconditionally, then do the same, be the change.

This is not Nollywood or Hollywood. Love someone when you don’t want to and when they are not the easiest to deal with and hard to love. That is true love.

Look out for “putting back the honey into the honeycomb” in the next article…